June 2012
3 tags
“DEATH TO ALL HOTTIES. i don’t believe in them anymore. everyone who approaches me must wear a plastic bag over their faces to protect my delicate sensibilities. like in that vonnegut short story, where everyone who is even minorly attractive has to wear a mask so that no one else feels bad.”
Jun 2nd
4 notes
2 tags
Jun 1st
171 notes
Jun 1st
443 notes
2 tags
Jun 1st
9,542 notes
2 tags
Jun 1st
448 notes
Jun 1st
830 notes
Jun 1st
4,193 notes
3 tags
Jun 1st
32,212 notes
2 tags
Jun 1st
29 notes
3 tags
If anyone finds the diamond earring I lost in the fitting room of either a) Forever21 or b) Charlotte Russe (no one look at me or my choices), hit me up
Jun 1st
1 note
May 2012
1 tag
May 30th
1,820 notes
May 30th
17 notes
May 30th
5,566 notes
1 tag
May 30th
22,775 notes
5 tags
May 30th
221 notes
3 tags
May 30th
3,262 notes
4 tags
May 29th
31 notes
1 tag
May 29th
1,399 notes
3 tags
May 29th
547 notes
May 29th
405 notes
7 tags
May 29th
2,891 notes
2 tags
May 29th
62,083 notes
5 tags
May 29th
4,377 notes
4 tags
thedesignatedclapper asked: FLESH TEA? you are now a more fashionable, cuter version of hannibal lecter.
May 29th
May 29th
804 notes
May 29th
2,272 notes
May 29th
4,917 notes
May 29th
20,214 notes
1 tag
May 29th
97 notes
May 29th
532 notes
May 29th
10,503 notes
3 tags
pfefferi: contrary to popular belief, vincent van gogh actually cut his ear off so he could not hear the haters
May 29th
10,786 notes
May 29th
113 notes
May 29th
2,541 notes
2 tags
May 29th
4 notes
2 tags
Remember that scene in Friends with Benefits where that guy was all “no one wants to fuck Obama” because man that is a good joke that is some good comedy
May 26th
May 26th
2,531 notes
May 26th
427 notes
May 26th
401 notes
5 tags
May 26th
148 notes
4 tags
Sometimes I just really like the way my hair looks fresh out of the shower
May 26th
1 note
3 tags
May 26th
2 notes
May 26th
7,635 notes
5 tags
May 26th
3,319 notes
May 26th
36,964 notes
May 26th
1,241 notes
8 tags
May 26th
1,157 notes
12 tags
May 26th
598 notes
May 26th
1,966 notes
4 tags
In the kitchen
Me: Did you just say "thank you" to that napkin?
Dad: Yes, I did.
Dad: Sometimes, when it doesn't rain for a very long time, it gets sort of du--
Me: What does that have to do with you thanking your napkin?
Dad: I... W... I was actually saying "thank you" because I got that dusty, dried-up booger out of my nose.
Me: I don't know why I expected that to get better towards the end, there.
Dad: It was only ever going downhill.
May 26th
3 notes